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Kiss the Feet |
"Suzuki Roshi, I've been listening to your lectures for years," a student said..."but I just don't understand. Could you please put it in a nutshell. Could you reduce Buddhism to one phrase!"
"Everything changes."
In some respects, everything lets you down eventually. Medicines of any kind eventually fail and the body betrays you. Friends and family die. You yourself age and get sick. The path of someone you love may take them away from you or their suffering may cause you harm. All of it is included in what we call "life."
Christ and Shakyamuni held a "no harm" policy towards others. How is that? How were they able to wash the feet of everyone, even those who betrayed them? No malice, no grudge, no harm, no envy, no revenge, no payback, no ill-will, no judgement...no lording it over anyone, ever.
Consider those you hold harm against. Consider letting go of the roots of wanting it otherwise. Consider washing their feet. Take your time, include everyone. Everything changes, it's not too late.
Often we feel hurt when someone or some institution fails to
do something we feel is the good thing to do. Our views of what is fair and
just and right run our life and so when we think or expect someone to see our
way we suffer. Our roots are in the soil of desire and expectations and cause
us to suffer.
The current Supreme Court cases on the legalization of
marriage for all adults in this nation are rife with the possibility of hate
and ill-will to arise. The root of the suffering is within my own being. I feel
the edge of it. I feel the pain and sorrow of it. I do not blame the nation,
the courts, those who have hated me or hate me now. Neither do I blame myself.
The arguments showed me that there is discrimination and prejudice which are
very difficult and painful things for those who hold such feelings towards me,
a gay woman who is married. Could I wash the feet of those hate me? Those who
hold a bias against me?
This morning, Marilyn, asked me to watch a video of another
institution that discriminates against me. The video clip was of the Pastor of
Saint Nick’s church, a man I respect and admire for his boldness and acceptance
of diversity. He was asked a simple question by a TV reporter, “Do they (women)
deserve a greater voice?” “Yeah, I
understand the tension for a woman today, but I also understand the struggle
for the church today. This is 2000 years of thinking a certain way and so is
God really asking us to change this, can we, do we have the authority?”
I was somewhat surprised at his answer because I had in my
mind a view of him as someone who would say yes in a more categorical way. He
didn’t. This organization discriminates against me in many ways, I am a woman
and I am a gay woman who is married. Could I wash this man’s feet?
The practice for me and for you is to release your grasp on
the myriad identities of who you think you are because they cause harm! It is
as simple and as difficult as that! We need Buddha Eyes, Christ Eyes.
But what is really going on here is a problem of identity.
When we cling to an identity of our self or others we head into a hell zone.
When you are willing and able to release these leopard skins of who you think
you are, you no longer are cooked up in the storms of prejudice, bias, and
discrimination. In other words, although these prejudices are arising in these
institutions, they are not personal although the little “me” identity wants to
take it personally. If your wife or husband cheats on you, don’t take it
personally. If someone betrays a contract, don’t take it up into your own
heart. But this takes practice because we tend to take everything as though it
is about “ME.”
The allure of the world is constant and one must be ever
vigilant regarding this allure. The maniac
“me” wants to right the wrongs, make something happen, fix and repair and make
a difference. It hops from branch to branch trying to find just the right thing
to bring satisfaction. This bird suffers.
The little “me” is a mere shadow of the real, free bird
above. It is to see from the perch of the high bird. The high bird no longer
wants anything from the courts, the church, the institutions because the high
bird is free of wanting anything in particular. The high bird is content. And
this is where spiritual practice leads. This is where compassion, joy, kindness
and equanimity live. But these feelings are often misunderstood. They take
tremendous strength, courage and a lot of practice.
Some years ago, I learned deep in the midst of pain that betrayal created the opportunity for me to forgive and eventually love more deeply. It was a gift. Thank you for this wonderful reminder.
ReplyDeleteHi Bill,
ReplyDeleteSee my comment above.
Thank you for your continuous approach to the moon-filled sky.
Liz
The tip is:
ReplyDeleteDon't take on the identity of being betrayed.
First thought: PERFECT timing. (Building meeting this evening.)
ReplyDeleteSecond thought inspired by "No malice, no grudge..." No separation.
Many thanks,
Cheryl
Soon after I met Dwight we were talking about you, Liz. He said he deeply admired the way you carried your practice into your everyday life. This is such a beautiful example of that--also, I think, the only hope.
ReplyDeleteMany, many blessings,
Cheryl
Hi Liz,
ReplyDeleteYour blog entry reminds me of a "joke": a daughter says to her friend, " I think my father is losing it...his memory is slipping." After some conversation the friend says to the daughter, "I think he's just fine, he was talking about family, friends and work, like it was just yesterday." The daughter responded "yes, he suffers from Irish Alzheimers, he just remembers the grudges." The ability to forgive AND forget is truly Buddha-nature. I have forgiven, but the forgetting has been challenging. Those feelings that remain are like an impressionist painting. It's all blurry but I still know what they were. I recently read an article by Gil Fronsdale in which he teaches how to develop equanimity as the antidote to attachment.
My hope is that my practice will render the "emotional Monets" one solid color with nothing to differentiate.
A million thank you's to you for this blog. The depth and strength of your practice comes through and buoys the rest of us.
I read again Liz's entry about the challenges she faces regarding the discrimination she experiences as a gay, married woman.....very difficult stuff today....my best friend is wounded deeply at the moment from this same prejudice. My anger and hatred rushes to the surface to wrestle with the perpetrators. It is so helpful to re-read this writing instead.
ReplyDelete